how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
