Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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