Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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