dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
