Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize