OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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