I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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