everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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