he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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