Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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