I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
