First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
