some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
