went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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