I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
