I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
