She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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