she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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