am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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