it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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