he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
