I feel like abortions should bother me more
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
