During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
