How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
