It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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