Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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