then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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