We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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