ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
