At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
