I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
