He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
