My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
