Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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