i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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