Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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