Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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