Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
