Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize