Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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