The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
