I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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