Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
