New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we're making bets on your personal life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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