Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
