he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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