Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
