You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
