is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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