Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
