I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
