just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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