we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
