guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
