Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
