$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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