Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
