I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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