I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
