Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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